- the ability to judge well
- perception in the absence of judgement with a view to obtaining spiritual direction & understanding
In its simplest definition, discernment is nothing more than the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think in terms of, what is in my highest good or in the highest good of all those concerned?
As I reflect back on my life and all the lessons I have learnt to this point, I have to say, discernment is by far the most crucial. For most of my life, I naively thought everyone should just get along, be nice to one another and have each other’s back. After countless times of feeling let down, I finally understood the importance of discernment. I would get ‘red flags’ about people or things I was about to embark on but would forge forward anyway thinking, ‘it’ll all work out – surely they won’t do anything to hurt me’. Needless to say, things didn’t always work out and I was left hurt and dismayed. Not entirely their fault because on some level I actually knew it was not the right decision but did it anyway.
The ancient wisdom books speak of discernment in this way:
“Examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil. Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world”.
In other words, know thy own self!
What is your truth, may not be aligned with what others believe as their truth. Not everyone is in integrity, honest and thinking about your best interest! The key to living an uncompromising life lies in one’s ability to exercise discernment in every area of his or her life. Failure to distinguish between truth and error leaves you subject to believing things that are not true for you and be at the effect of subtle (or not so subtle) manipulation, often times leaving you to compromise.
Unfortunately, discernment is an area where most people on this path to peace stumble. It’s about having the ability to measure the things you are taught, against the infallible knowledge of: ‘What is in my highest good?’ If not, you are likely to unwittingly engage in all kinds of decision making and behaviors that are out of alignment with what will best serve you. In short, you are not armed to take a deliberate stand against the onslaught of unhealthy thinking and attitudes that face you throughout your day.
There is this store house of information within you, known as your inner wisdom. It has all the answers you need to live your best life. This inner wisdom is what is telling you what is right and what is wrong according to your unique life journey. It is incumbent upon you to honor and seize upon the discernment that this inner wisdom has provided. Without it, you are at risk of being tossed here and there by the waves of life’s experiences, and carried about by the wind like a rudderless ship.
Having the courage to follow your truth requires you to let go of your need for others approval and seek only self-approval. Ask yourself, is this right for me? Does this resonate with me or am I saying yes, when I truly mean no?’ It doesn’t mean that the other person is crazy or wrong by what they are asking, it simply means, it’s not right for you.
Discernment intersects your life at every point. And your inner wisdom or inner truth provides you with the needed discernment about every issue. It is through trusting and listening intently to your inner guide, that you will ultimately make choices that lead you to more joy, more happiness and more fulfillment in your life.
Sign up today for a complementary coaching session and see how I can help lead you back to you.
I have always said,
‘Whenever you get stuck in a rut or feel like you’re ‘falling down the rabbit hole’ of life, there’s no better remedy than exercise!’
If you ever find yourself in a funk, shift your energy!
Studies have shown that simply standing up, stretching or doing few jumping jacks can dramatically change your state of mind.
Yoga is an excellent way to shift your perspective using low impact cardio.
Not to mention, it can help you to ‘presence’ yourself. Most anxieties are a result of being out of the moment. When you feel depressed, you may find yourself regretting the past or negatively anticipating the future, both of which you have no control.
Let yoga be your remedy!
Not only will you shift out of your negative energy by exercising, but you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the positive effects of being present for an hour. We are seeing a trend at Kula. More and more people are sourcing our yoga community as a way to navigate through heavy times.
For more reading, I highly suggest you check out THIS ARTICLE from Sharon Kirkey at the National Post: “For mild depression, try jogging, yoga, or any form of aerobic exercise before drugs, psychiatrists say.”
To your health and well-being,
Have you become so preoccupied with:
– trying to make your business successful
– meeting the needs of your family, friends or spouse
– health challenges
Or with trying to change and heal your life that you’re forgetting the importance of laughter, joy, and temporary freedom from responsibility?
Today’s message is to help you prioritize time for your own healing and relaxation away from the commitments and responsibilities of your life.
Each human being has a natural passion and desire for living a fulfilled life. This desire is often smothered through the struggles and traumas of daily life and the apparent lack of time to accomplish goals and enjoy life fully. The desire for fulfillment is a part of human nature. It is often a good thing to turn your energy away from mere task-oriented accomplishments towards accepting the energy of desire as the urge to return and reconnect with nature.
You and nature will both benefit from time together, and healing will be facilitated in both of you.
When I refer to healing in this way, it is more than healing the body or the mind, although these are both important. The larger level of healing I speak of involves healing the relationship between your spirit and the spirit of the earth.
Planet earth has a life purpose, as you do. That purpose involves bringing all levels of life together in a harmonious and self-appreciating balance. When humankind is unable to honor and acknowledge her own worth, she experiences the pain of imbalance, and her own spiritual desire is thwarted. Equally, when we don’t acknowledge the value of Mother Earth, She becomes imbalanced.
Take time to relax in nature. Find a place that is peaceful and fills you with love for yourself and for life. When you are quiet you are able to feel more readily the earth’s own spirit, and through this subtle attention you encourage her to care for the creatures living on the earth. When you show compassion to the spirit of earth, you not only enhance you own ability to relate to nature, you also increase her ability to relate to you and all of humanity.
In order to for you to truly appreciate your own desires, you need to understand you lie against the larger picture of the natural world. To stay balanced and healthy, I would encourage you to participate in nature with your own basic nature fully alert and ready to participate.
Devote a time each day to being with nature. A few moments focused on a natural element or devoted to time in nature can offer you refreshment. If you’re in the city with no real nature around you, buy yourself a flowering plant, take time to groom your pet or look outside at the blowing trees.
The key is there are quiet times within each day when you pull your energy back inside and let it refresh your body. Your spirit learns from nature, so when you seek refreshment and rejuvenation, seek out the flowers, plants, trees and animals that can take your mind off your daily activities and give your spirit a deeper appreciation for its own daily tasks.
If you find yourself particularly overwhelmed with life, try this: Go on a Conscious Nature Walk! For the first half of your walk, turn your attention fully onto nature. This sacred time is not used for spinning on your thoughts about your ‘To Do List’, particularly in the ‘I Should…’ department. Be completely in the moment with your surroundings. What you ‘should’ be doing is exactly what you are doing – just fully taking in nature.
Take your time. Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel. Pick up a leaf and really look at it. Notice the veining; the texture; the color. Smell it. Take in the organic scents around you. Listen to all the subtle sounds of nature in the background. Perhaps the leaves are blowing or birds are chirping? Can you taste the freshness of nature in your mouth? Feel the leaf between your fingers. Simply notice the magnificence of Mother Nature. If your scary thoughts should barge their way into your process simply shift your attention back to nature.
On your way back it is natures turn to notice you! As you walk allow nature to notice you. Flirt with her. Let her see all of you. Feel the vulnerability of this process. Allow her to heal you. Feel the oneness of all things. Feel yourself being replenished by this Universal energy. Take in some deep nurturing breathes to ground yourself in the essence of this process.
The process of being with nature offers you the gift of being fully present. You will notice that you are not consumed by the day-to-day pain of life. You will not be lamenting in your fearful thoughts about the past nor trying to predict the future. Being in the moment is the only place where God or Spirit resides. When you are in the moment, you will hear the subtle nudging of Spirit gently guiding your next steps.
I guarantee you will feel a sense of relief, rejuvenation, peace, and balance after this simple process. Nature is aching for you to notice her and she is dying to notice you.
This week give yourself the gift to be with nature. Free yourself from your stinking thinking even if it’s only temporarily.
To learn more sign up for a free consultation. My coaching emphasizes the importance of viewing your life in a holistic way and living a balanced life.
Temporarily freeing yourself from the responsibilities of life is the responsible thing to do!
This process has to do with really listening to the complaint that your partner or the person you offended has with you. Sometimes (or a lot of times) we have behaved in ways that were hurtful either to our spouses, ex spouses, our children, or others and have put them into awkward no-win situations.
An authentic apology will clear the field; where there’s no residue, there’s no resentment or bitterness on either side.
How many times have you heard someone say begrudgingly, ‘I’M SORRY!’. Did that feel authentic? Did it land on your heart? Did you feel like the problem was resolved, that they got it or did you feel like they were just paying you lip service?
My mentor Dehyana Lim always said, “You cant have what you don’t give. If you’re looking for an apology, you have to be willing to authentically give one.”
Let go of your need to be right. Ask yourself, ‘would I rather be right or would you rather be loved?’.
An authentic apology can clear the slate to a new beginning in your relationship and in your life. It will set you free and begin the cohesion process back into the relationship.
We’re so psychologically sophisticated, and we think that somehow it’s going to clear things to just explain our psychology to another person. But it’s not sufficient to actually clear the field. What’s going to clear the field and make for no residue, is to really give yourself fully to understanding the impact of your choices and your actions on the other person and everyone involved. Let them know you see that, and you get it. To actually allow yourself to empathize with them into what that experience was like for them.
It’s a very humbling process, and it’s where you take responsibility. You name the cost to everyone involved, and you begin the process of cleaning up your act and starting to behave differently. Normally what we do is; either we’ll defend against the complaint or we’ll try and trump it with our own complaint, or we will then explain ourselves with our psychology: “Well, you know, I always do that because, you know this is what happened to me. When I was younger my mom and my dad and my brother were…” Whatever it is, we don’t want to go there. It’s about being fully present to what they are saying. Even though you’re going to want to go there, just set it aside and really listen.
First, ask them what the experience was like for them. And really let them share with you the ways that it impacted them. Let your heart feel it. Remember, this is really real for them. It will break your heart open if you just let yourself feel it without having a need to explain, justify or react.
Get present and then let them know that you got it; that you heard it; that your heart is grieved with them; and then you recreate what they can count from you from now on. So you might say something like, ‘I know that way of being cost our relationship. I can see how selfish that was of me. I can see how much that tore you up. I want you to know I am really grieved at my own behaviour. I’m even horrified by it and I really get it.’
Next you let them know by proclaiming something like, “From this moment on what you can count on me for is to always take your feelings into account; to be more mature; to think more holistically rather than just myself, with you and with everyone from this moment forward in my life”.
Let the apology land on them. They may need time to take it away and process what you just offered them. Keep your heart open and know that you did this to clear the residue so you can both move forward powerfully and to begin the process of cohesion back into the relationship.
This is a true amends. Is takes courage but the rewards and the ripple affect out into your community are huge. No one likes to clean the house, but everyone loves what it feels like afterwards to have a beautiful, tidy, clean environment.
This apology process is what can create that kind of clarity between yourself and another person that builds a fulfilling relationship.
Let me help you create happy and healthy relationships in your life starting today!
For a free one hour sample coaching session click here. I promise the changes you can experience through my coaching are long lasting and life changing.
To a life well lived,
This week’s theme presented itself loud and clear. It has shown up for me personally and with my beautiful clients of the feminine kind. The words, ‘There is Power in Your Vulnerability’ has been the topic of conversation.
Today I wanted to take the time to honor the work of my inspiring teacher, Dehyana Lim quoting her in this poetic exploration of the feminine. She writes; “Our beautiful earth is suffering due to the lack of women who are willing to take a stand. Taking a stand means that we must radically change our thinking. We have been taught that our power comes from ‘taking the bull by the horns’ or even by challenging the men. This has not worked and it will never work. Our power comes from within our hearts and it is a power that lies dormant in every woman. As we live and give love, everyone around us will benefit and naturally move into their own heart’”
I have noticed this theme mostly with my female clients but this does not mean that the men won’t appreciate this conversation. In fact, I believe most of them will breathe a big sigh of relief as they read on.
“We give direction to the males in our lives. By our love they grow and become gods. But if we make them less than, by scolding them like their mothers, by not acknowledging their worth, or by not giving them what they need to grow, they die. That is how powerful we are. If we want to live as liberated women, we must first liberate the men. Wisdom, compassion and love without conditions are the tools of a Goddess. These tools are inherent in every woman. It is time to trust and know your worth – to value yourself as an instrument of change. Stop controlling, manipulating and nagging. Allow the voice of that powerful, magnetic and loving Goddess within you to come forth. Allow the sweet sounds of love to pour from your heart. Words of inspiration, words that uplift and words that heal. Surrender and receive the divine feminine and take part in the evolution of humankind. Start creating a new you, a new relationship and new world.”
“The energies now are perfect for every woman to awaken to the power of the feminine. By making choices that stem from the heart, we become vessels of change for the entire world. All of us have the ability to heal this planet through our commitment to revealing the hidden powers of the Goddess. Let us all awaken and allow the feminine receptivity within each of us to come forth and guide our every step. She lives in our heart, she is ‘womb-like’ and easily holds the space of nurturing for all. Hers is a life of love in service to a higher purpose, healing of the whole.”
Here are list of questions you can ask yourself as you relate to the men in your life to empower them to be the gods that they are and to honor you as the goddess that you are:
- Am I nagging?
- Am I finding faults constantly with my husband/boyfriend, or men in general?
- Am I inspiring him, making him feel valued and loved?
- Am I praising him for all he is doing?
- Am I thanking him for all he is giving?
- Am I allowing him to self correct?
- Am I trusting that he will find his way?
- Am I invading his privacy by being snoopy?
- Am I demanding?
- Am I soft and receptive in his space?
- Am I making our home sweet and welcoming?
- Am I making him feel important and that he counts?
- Am I allowing him to be himself?
- Am I encouraging him?
- Am I acknowledging his input without making him wrong or stupid?
- Am I looking at him through eyes of love?
- Am I trusting that God is in him too and will guide him?
- Am I helping him to feel better about himself?
As you ask yourself these questions, you may realize certain patterns or habits in your relationships with men that aren’t serving you or bring you what you want. Continue asking yourself these questions in the coming week, especially as you’re speaking to the men in your life. The first step to changing these patterns is to recognize them. If you need more support in this process and are ready to make some shifts in your life, sign up for a free consultation.
I remind my clients that you can never have what you do not give. Do you want to be acknowledged and respected? If you answered yes, then you have to give both! If you begin now to give these things, you can have these things too.
In addition Dehyana states, “men are really wonderful…they respond really well to love, just like you. Because they are here to serve, they will want to give you everything if they feel that they are loved unconditionally. That is why it is critical for us to ‘give birth’ to the Goddess energies and help create a world where we all come together in perfect harmony creating peace, love and joy.”
As I reflect on my conversations this week with some of my female clients I recall their initial resistance to this conversation. I am encouraging the woman I coach to know that There is Power in Your Vulnerability. Being vulnerable does not mean you are weak or seen as a door mat, on the contrary. It takes courage, not strength to make some of these choices to be more goddess-like.
I’m certain in my beloveds opinion he would say, there is more power in me being vulnerable than in me telling him (with one hand on my hip and the other pointing a finger), ‘That this is how it’s going to be’. I assure you he would much rather me lie my head on his lap and say, ‘I’m sorry’ than me having the need to be right.
In a few months I will be spending two weeks in Egypt on a magical journey with the amazing woman who created some of the words I have written today. Through the years, Dehyana Lim has guided me around the InnerWorks of a Woman. I feel so blessed to have been taught this hidden worth by a true Goddess. To know more about Dehyana and her spiritual pilgrimages please visit her website at www.anchoringthelight.org.
I would love to hear your comments about this weeks blog as I’m sure it will provoke some thoughts and feelings.
To the beautiful women (and beautiful men) in my world, Namaste’…
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